no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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