Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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