Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
