is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
oh god the rape fog is back!
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
