Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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