I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
