Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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