i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
