evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize