I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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