You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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