There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
