just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
