what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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