is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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