Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think i got beer on your cat.
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