I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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