So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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