Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
