? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
