Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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