I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
