How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
