Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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