I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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