I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize