i may or may not be watching the land before time
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
