is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
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