I just made out with a guy for $7.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
