So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
