I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize