Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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