just tell him i said nine months
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
