i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
