do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
she looked like the before picture.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
