at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
