Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
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