everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
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