Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
