Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
