My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
