What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
