I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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