I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
