Ambien. No doubt about it.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
