wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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