Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
