Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
