I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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