your room smells of hookers.
And success
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I need moral support for this bender
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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