We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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