She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
where are you?
Hypothermia
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
