My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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