everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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