I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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