UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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