we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
