next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
