Just cropdusted the office
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
