Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So vagazzling was a success
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
