Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
MIDGETS
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize