I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
