Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Two words: nipple clamps
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