Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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